Tuesday, August 19, 2014
The Dream Killer
Friday, May 9, 2014
Misery
I twist and turn, from this side to the other.
I'm not comfortable.
Sleep seems to be far from comforting.
I know what this phenomenon is.
It's not talking to you for a whole day and missing you.
But it doesn't seem to affect you, does it?
You are the same old jolly you.
But where is that jolly me?
Who could sleep on a rock without a problem.
Who would not care about some idiot who didn't value her and move on.
Who was, if not independent, atleast self-content.
Who believed that she needed no-one to make her happy.
Where is she?
I don't like the monster you've created out of me.
Living on your attention like a parasite.
I love you so much that not talking to you for a day is killing me.
I know that i am my own poison but still why don't I change?
I am tired of trying to change who I am, again and again, little by little.
But, nothing seems to be enough.
Why don't you change?
Why don't you try to help me?
Why don't you care when I foolishly try to avoid you to check if you even care!
Why don't you know my habits?
Why don't you remember that I'm waiting for you to get home to talk to you?
Why don't you miss me, at all. . .
Why am I the only one who has to go through these miseries?
Crying through the night because the night is never-ending and so is my wait.
Why can't I just go to sleep and pretend that these are nightmares.
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Jokes? Is that what they are called. . .
I know you're joking, but for you it must be an art.
You pierce me with your staggering words and act like you're immune to mine.
You disappear into the wild and make me so frustrated that everything seems in vain.
I try to avoid you, stay away from you, ignore you but all for what?
so that my heart will suffer in pain? and you laugh it off as a silly joke.
What worries me is not your silly jokes but it's my carelessness that let's my temper slip,
makes my heart race and my brain go wild. Every thing about you disgusts me, I don't even want to see your face, but it's so perfect how can I look away?
I'm pathetic, I know you don't have to make it so obvious!
You push my self esteem lower and lower I can barely face myself in the mirror.
I scream SCREW YOU at the thought of you and cringe at myself but how can I let such a person bully me?
'Ever heard of loving yourself? forget that bitch and head the other way. '
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Dark
You kept on trying, and I never kept track.
It's not your fault to want me crushed and tortured.
But it's a fault of my heart who knew everything but never held back.
Your countless attempts was your presistence.
And my attempts to keep talking was my weakness.
You got me cornered one day.
All sad and helpless.
You lent me a shoulder to cry on and called me a 'gem' when I felt worthless.
Those words and a slip of my heart, in a leap of moments your voice became art.
I couldn't stop admiring it, nor could I stop looking at it.
But now that I can tell, you were nothing but a black rock, dark.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Weakness
The canopy of your arms around me
My tears soaked in your shirt
And your hands stroking my hair
Your hushed voice telling me it's fine
The confidence in your voice keeping me calm
And your warmth keeping me safe
I might've been a fool to ignore you in the past
But I've realised your importance
Or morever discovered my weakness.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Free
I release myself from all the implications.
All those trying to be perfect attempts,
All those staring at the mirror and trying to find flaws.
If they actually love me, they'll love me for myself,
For the clumsy person I am.
They'll accept my flaws and learn to love them.
People will love me for me,
Not the photo-shopped image I claim to be.
No more drooling over Megan Fox or Scarlett Johansson,
No more squeezing into those skin tight jeans,
No more starving myself to be skinny.
Today I release myself from me.
Monday, December 10, 2012
I know this will go away
You play basketball and all I can think is "DAMN! SO DARN SWEET!'
I explode on my friends about how perfect you are.
They say you look like early men; I defend you by claiming that you're my shooting star.
They scream telling me to "confess already" and I respond by asking them "does he even know me?"
I'm about to burst with these mixed emotions.
I know that it's a phase that'll pass by but why has it held on so tight.
All that can happen with this confession is rejection but why is it harder because it's coming from you?
You're an introvert but you're perfect for me.
I say 'Hi' and you say 'Bye', 'Boy that escalated quickly.'
I'm confused but I wonder if you've got the hint.
I can't tell you in person but I can write it down with ink.
Is a love letter too cliche?
Oh well then I shall settle for whatever I get.
Even the puppy who gives me affection I shall take, because you're far way.
As I said you're my shooting star that'll go away.
